Monday, March 19, 2007

i apu ku





I grew up with my grandma. At two, my father died so my mother has to work; therefore we have to be left at home with our lola. I was branded as "anak apu"(daughter of a grandparent) by my other relatives because they always see me with my lola. There were even among my cousins who got jealous because of our closeness. And whenever they teased me then, my lola would always say,"pabusten mula, mainggit lamu ren!" then she'll hold my hands and everything would then seem so peaceful. The thing that I miss the most is when we visit APO church and she would buy something for me despite the heat and the crowd. Hay! Whenever I happen to remember these things, I just can't help but cry. And because she's not anymore alive, I always ask myself: Sino nang magtatanggol sa'kin?='(



PS.


I would like to acknowledge Ms Almex Manalastas for inspiring me to write something about my grandmother. I’ve read her blog entry about the chicharon and her grandmother; so I was moved to write a tribute for my grandma.

10 comments:

almex said...

we need to move on...

It is really a depressing experience to see your grandmother dying. I saw how my grandma dies little by little.

I also grew up in my Lola’s hand. She’s the one who give us care when our parents are not around. She’s the one who feeds us when we’re hungry. She’s the only person I thought will never leave me. But I have to accept that everyone has a dead end in life and not everything can last forever. I have to accept that she’s only a human person and she’s now dead.

I really hate this feeling that when there are people who keep on teasing me that I grew up in my Lola’s hand…you know why?...because those tease reminds me of my Lola. Those tease makes me cry and remember those moments I have shared with my Lola.

We can’t do anything but cry when we remember our Grandma. Time will heal those pains and wipe those tears. It just a matter of moving on and be mature enough to accept the reality that our Grandma are now living in heaven.

They may not be physically present…the presence of their love will guide us in our life.

wildtemperate said...

This from Archie Sangalang

Your blog seemed to be like a diary on this part it is like you are telling a story about being raised by a grandmom. There was simply no problem with that because living in this world is not perfect at all. And mine is also turning into a diary on this part.
I also feel the same because my parents are always on the middle east to work on a higher salary. I grew with my uncle, grandma and a keeper which I call Ate. It is hard living thinking like you are all alone. But as what my grandma said just think of God and you will never be alone.

mic-mic said...

wow! inspired by miss mary almex manalastas, haha! well anyhow, i can not totally relate because i never had grandparents, well of course i do but they passed away even before i was born so i never experience how it is to be lola or lolo's girl. when i was younger i used to envy those who had them, you are truly fortunate. i think if i did they would really love me, and i would love them as well, i love being the baby, which did not really work for my parents because they were busy providing for me, but they were great, they made me feel complete.

ella said...

Hay kakainggit ka naman. You grew up with your lola thought your father died early, so sad. Anyway I didn’t experience to have bonding with my or a lola. My lolas was died when I was young, I didn’t had the chance to feel having a lola. Ano nga ba feeling? Hehe. I heard always these statement “ Laking matanda kase eh kaya ganyan” this saying when the person is oversensitive. People kept saying that whoever they encounter in that kind of attitude. I’m just curious totoo ba yon? What is/are the connection of lolo/lolas in having oversensitive feeling? I smile whenever I heard that without knowing why? Hehehe pano ba magpalaki ang isang lola? However you should not worry kung sino magtatanggol sa iyo. Matanda kana kaya mu nang lumaban. Hahaha! Kiddin’

t i n a y said...

so sad your dad died too early.. it's really hard to lose someone who has been part of your life.. i guess,, all you have to do is to move on and live life to the fullest.. time runs fast and everyhting in this world are temporary.. you just have to treasure every little things around you..

Joowon Aine Yoon said...

hi rona, you are a very wonderful person because you have acknowledge people who are with you, just like your grandmother. it is only nice to thank people like our grandparents because without them we won't be having our parents who will be very kind to us. without them, we are also not here that is why we must be very thankful to have them inour lives. i just wish that i am with my grandparents so that i can also express how much i am thankful to have them and how much i love them, that without them, i will not also be here, right now.

vAnEsSa-CoMeO said...

Ronak, I was really touched to what you have posted. Honestly speaking I really didn't imagine that you have a sad story like this. Cause I know you, as a Kwela na kaibigan. I just saw you once crying and the reason is about theater.
It is really nice to have story like this because you can inspire students who too, lost their grangmothers which happenly to be the closest person to them. I agree to what your lola said.. dont mind people who teased you, they just envy you.

fridiane anne said...

Hi Rona, about your article I can say that I feel for you. My grandmother was the one who took care of me ever since I was a child and not having her right now is very lonely. I never thought that one day I’ll have to wake up in the morning and not seeing her anymore. She's the center of our family, our lives revolve around her. She’s the strength of my mom; it's like she's the energy source of our lives and when she died every one in our family changed their point of view in life and lifestyle. Loosing someone so close to you is really hard to accept but as they say we do not live our lives for other people, life goes on and we have live it with or without the people we love. ;)

jel said...

Wow!! Honestly I grew up with my lola as well. Actually I even sleep with her until now. It’s weird and funny though but my lola was like a mother to me too. I love her so much that I don’t know how hard it is if I lose her. I don’t want that to happen. Ever since I was little she always take care of me. I really appreciate that up to now. I feel like among her granddaughters I was her favorite. I will be so flattered to hear that. I don’t mind if others would know that I grew up with my lola. Who cares??? I’m proud anyway. I will never get embarrassed of it.

Cris Mendoza said...

Hi rona!!!i was also touched by your article about your lola..how i wish I had a lola like yours because my lola on both sides of my parents are not close to me because the other one is very strict and my other lola is always sick..so im happy for you that you have that kind of lola!treasure,love and care your lola always!!!